It all starts here...

I was born in Kolbermoor - a small town in Germany (Bavaria). Growing up I always thought I'd become a teacher.

Shortly before I finished school in 2016 I met a guy in my local gym. I fell head over heals for this guys after only 2 weeks of dating.

"the perfect couple"

I guess this is what everyone thought of us. But in the beginning this was probably true. I knew for sure that I would marry this guy one day. Everything was way too perfect.

we started instagram

I bet some of you didn't know this - but yes: my beginning on social media was together with my exboyfriend. We started to travel from time to time and shared our experiences on Instagram. Soon I discovered my passion for photo- and videography.

toxic

After about 3 years our relationship started to become super toxic. Looking back it's so clear to me that I should have ended this relationship much earlier. But back then I didn't realize it. I guess this is the dangerous thing of toxic relationships. There's a quote: "If you throw a frog into boiling water - it jumps out right away, cause it feels the pain. However if you put the frog into cold water and slowly increase the heat - it will die. Cause it won't notice the change.

I guess this is exactly how I felt over time. I thought the relationship was the last positive thing in my life when in reality it broke me. I was empty inside. And all of my energy was used to somehow hold on to it. I talked to no-one. Cause I felt like there was just no energy left anymore explain it all. I lost all of my happiness, everything felt so exhausting up to a point where I didn't even want to wake up anymore. I think I've never felt as low and alone in my life. But I just couldn't leave. The relationship lastet 5.5 years.

realisation

Since I study to become a teacher, one of my subjects was sports. And with my uni I once signed up to cross the alps on the freakin Mountainbike. To be honest: I kinda forgot about it - and was reminded shortly before we left. So here I was - sitting in a bus, that brought the group to the starting point. I was SO exhausted, scared and full of self doubts. Like how the heck will I end up? What if I can't do it? Gosh I was so scared and exhausted. And I kept trying to pretend that everything was ok.

The whole trip lasted 5 days. Crossing the alps with no real preparation was one of the toughest but also most rewarding thing I ever did. It taught me so much. Day by day my body told me to give up but somehow I pushed through it. So day by day I experienced my own strength. Every day I would stand in front of the mirror, just looking at myself and tearing up. Cause I realized that I was stronger than I thought I was. I kept telling myself affirmations in front of the mirror. Proofing myself that I wasn't as weak as I thought.

After 5 exhausting days we reached Lago di Garda in Italy. I actually felt SO happy and relieved. For the first time in SO long. In that exact moment I realized that my whole feeling of happiness had shifted. Being sad had become normal. "Happiness" had turned into a feeling of numbness. So suddenly I realized how true happiness feels like.

change

It all became so clear to me. I realized that it was the relationship that costed me all of my energy and I finally saw the toxicity. I feel like all that blindness was finally gone. So when I came back from my trip, I knew that It was time to end the relationship. And again I was SO scared. For 5,5 years I had been with a partner. Never really on my own. So ending it felt SO scary.

Luckily we managed to break up peacefully. And looking back it was by far the best thing that I could have done.

a new chapter

So here I was. For the first time in a while on my own.

Broke and so lost. I didn't even know who I was. All the plans I had were with the two of us together.

One day I sat down and wrote down all of MY dreams and goals - everything I had in mind. I realized that most of my dreams were related to travel. Like places that I wanted to see. That is when I promised myself that I would try everything in my power to make my dreams come reality.

the van

Boy oh boy this was so much easier said than done. I had no money, was still a student and tried to just go for it. So I worked my butt of in order to finance the van. I learned from YouTube how to convert a van. Had zero clue of all the tools, and somehow made it work. I worked at the van throughout the night, woke up at 5am in order to finish uni, and kept working my part time job throughout the day in order to finance it all. I would pause the conversion whenever I ran out of money.

I was exhausted. But in a good way. And I somehow made it work.

lifeandpauli

So in April 2022 I packed my bags and it was finally time to hit the road with my van.

I left for my very first solotravels ever. Super nervous and not sure what future would hold for me.

That's when I decided to share my journey and my solo travel with my van or my backpack on social media again. We stopped the couple account years ago and this is when I took it over and named it @lifeandpauli.

Adventures

Shortly after I left on my first backpacking travels.

And what can I say? I never looked back. Ever since I am either traveling with a van or with my backpack. I traveled to South East Asia first, then Africa, back to Europe, then Central Asia, etc.

Mongolia

My most recent adventure that has changed a lot for me. For 45 days I traveled Mongolia with my friend Valli (@journeyious).

No service, no civilisation, just the 2 of us and 3 horses. We were filtering our water, making bonfire in the night and slept in our tent. It was the ultimate adventure. And it showed me how much I actually love these adventures.

and now?

So what's next?

To be honest: I don't know. I stopped early to come up with plans. I rather want to be spontaneous and open for the experiences around me. So I guess we'll see.. But one is for sure: I will take you along with me.